3 Pages

I should be working on homework (story of my life)

And of course, I am writing a blog (story of my life)

Apparently the discouraged perfectionist runs deep.

I have an assignment, a simple one really, 3 pages. how difficult could it be to write 3 pages? All I'm to do is write something about forgiveness and discuss a Bible verse. So of course I have 3 books, 4 journal articles, a commentary, and a sermon pulled up so I can use them as sources. And of course I think I need to pore over, memorize, and understand them all before I can begin writing. And of course I can't.

So here I sit, surrounded with more than I need, unable to utilize any of it because I'm too overwhelmed. So I turn to coffee and facebook, because you don't need a book to make coffee and you don't need to research before using facebook.

So I wonder, is that perfectionistic? Or just lazy? I don't know. Half the time it seems that lazy people call themselves perfectionists in order not to feel guilty for being extraordinary time-wasters. I really do not want to be one of those.

Maybe I nitpick, asking for ideal conditions and thorough knowledge, because I don't trust that I can produce quality material unless it IS last-minute...and searching for ideal conditions (which never appear) push me toward last-minute work.

Absolutely ridiculous. There doesn't seem to be any wisdom in that.

Here are my arguments for a new course of action:

1) I have a brain. Regardless of its IQ, it is capable of writing 3 pages. Regardless of whether those 3 pages are well-written, 3 poorly-written pages are better than 0 well-written pages. I will invest the 1 coin and hopefully I will get 3back.

2) This quote keeps running through my head (thank you Dallas Willard and dear ol' C.S., and I think it applies to homework in many ways): "God has room for people with very little sense, but He wants every one to use what sense they have. The proper motto is not 'Be good, sweet maid, and let who can be clever,' but 'Be good, sweet maid, and don't forget that this involves being as clever as you can.' God is no fonder of intellectual slackers than of any other slackers. If you are thinking of becoming a Christian, I warn you, you are embarking on something which is going to take the whole of you, brains and all..."

3) I have just downed a mug of coffee and will either be up for the next few hours working on homework...or doing something I 'enjoy' but not being able to 'enjoy' it because 3 pages stand between me and proper enjoyment.

3 pages. 3 pages. 3 pages.