Every year I pack a minimum of twelve large books into my suitcase, at least 12 large, heavy, books, and lug them home for the holiday season.
I cling to the well-worn resolution that "this year I will develop my mind," by reading those enjoyable, nourishing books I was forced to neglect during the semester for the greater good of passing my classes.
So while I typically neglect these books between August and November, between December and January I tend to neglect historical precedent, which reveals a pattern of faithfully abandoning my resolution.
Last holiday one of my books to read was I & Thou. So I read the 4th Twilight book instead.
This year I intend to redeem myself by finishing I & Thou, and surprisingly, I am well on my way, having read 10 pages of Martin Buber...but I must admit that the reason I put down Martin Buber after 10 pages was to read 250 pages of Ted Dekker's futuristic fiction novel, Forbidden, in which the hero, Rom, has to save a world who's citizens have been genetically modified to feel no emotion other than fear (how exciting is that?!).
Then once again Martin Buber was set aside so that I could read 320 pages of the teen novel, The Hunger Games, in which the heroine, Katniss Everdeen, has to survive a death-match against 23 other contestants in a danger-laced wilderness.
And then I again overlooked Martin Buber in order to read The Wednesday Wars (which was delightful) because I'm a sucker for Newberry Award books and just HAD to know if Mrs. Baker really did hate Holling Hoodhood and if the rats, Caliban and Sycorax, would ever be recaptured.
Not that I feel guilty, really. A good dose of fiction can do a lot of good for the soul, I think. But I do feel like I made a commitment to Martin Buber and some of the others I lugged home in my suitcase. So I am re-resolving by making a list. I love checking things off lists. Maybe this will help.
Books To Read Over Break:
1. I & Thou (forgive me, Martin Buber)
2. Unbroken (Laura Hillenbrand)
3. The Denial of Death (Ernest Becker)
4. Real Sex (Lauren Winner)
5. Renovation of the Heart (Dallas Willard)
5 is a good start isn't it? I have a philosophy book, a semi-biographical book, something existential, a relationship-community-sex book, and a spiritual formation book. These are doable, not over-achieverisitic, and I think they will be beneficial. So we'll see.
Anyhow, there it is. A confession of sorts and a resolution of sorts and a list.
So to those who have just read a few hundred words and were hoping for something more exciting than a story about all the books I have orphaned, my sister has a very funny blog about awkward church experiences which is very enjoyable to read--- http://themodernvellum.blogspot.com/
Update: As of 1/13/11
I have read:
100 pages of Unbroken
Real Sex
1/2 of The Prodigal God by Tim Keller
1/4 of The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller
Chapter 1 of The Good Life by David McCarthy
4/5 of Renovation of the Heart
so...
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Somewhere Between a Pagan and a Pharisee
Mom: I’ll get you a Kitchen Aid when you get married.
Oms: What if I just got married so that you’d buy me a Kitchen Aid?
Criz: Well, a wedding would cost more than a Kitchen Aid.
Mom: Marry a godly man. (continues to think about it) Don’t marry a legalistic liar.
Oms: Fine, I’m going to marry a heathen!
Mom: Or a pagan.
Criz: …So somewhere between a pagan and a Pharisee?
Mom: Marry a generous person. But not so generous that he spends all the money.
Oms: These are some tough requirements.
Mom: Just find a balance.
Oms: What if I just got married so that you’d buy me a Kitchen Aid?
Criz: Well, a wedding would cost more than a Kitchen Aid.
Mom: Marry a godly man. (continues to think about it) Don’t marry a legalistic liar.
Oms: Fine, I’m going to marry a heathen!
Mom: Or a pagan.
Criz: …So somewhere between a pagan and a Pharisee?
Mom: Marry a generous person. But not so generous that he spends all the money.
Oms: These are some tough requirements.
Mom: Just find a balance.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Foolish
Do you see how foolish I am?
The thoughts I think…
They are of the most fantastic stuff.
Laughable,
That I would abandon one idol for another more noble,
Distinguished...
More well-disguised.
The thoughts I think…
They are of the most fantastic stuff.
Laughable,
That I would abandon one idol for another more noble,
Distinguished...
More well-disguised.
With Us
Emmanuel,
God with us.
With.
Not abstract,
Not detached,
But here. Now. Near.
God with me.
Emmanuel,
God who comes.
Joy to the world,
The Lord is come,
And dwells among us,
Within us
The Word becomes flesh:
‘Give us this day our daily bread’
‘Take, eat, this is my body, which is broken for you’
I am thirsty, as the deer pants for water:
‘This cup is the new covenant’
‘Drink’
Joy to the world.
God with us.
With.
Not abstract,
Not detached,
But here. Now. Near.
God with me.
Emmanuel,
God who comes.
Joy to the world,
The Lord is come,
And dwells among us,
Within us
The Word becomes flesh:
‘Give us this day our daily bread’
‘Take, eat, this is my body, which is broken for you’
I am thirsty, as the deer pants for water:
‘This cup is the new covenant’
‘Drink’
Joy to the world.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Antithesis
Last night, in the spirit of healthy-eating, Natalie and I decided to get vegan food.
So we went to a fancy vegan restaurant, the kind where they have more than one fork on the table, and allowed our moustached waiter to tempt us with his recitation of the delicious vegan specials. He should have been a poet...the way he spoke was Keats-esque...only he spoke of all-natural organic vegetables and not romance.
We decided to order and split a giant sampler with three different entrees--- lasagna made with zucchini and macadamia ricotta...butternut squash ravioli...red pepper enchiladas. It was going to be rapturous!
We waited...and waited...
And then they brought out the dish!!!
And I think even a rabbit would have been offended at the meager portions. It was so small!!! SO SMALL! The three-entree sampler was the size of a Lunchable. A LUNCHABLE! And even that is a generous description.
So Natalie and I deftly divided a bite of ravioli, a sprig of salad, a nibble of lasagna, and a taquito-sized enchilada.
Then we paid (too much for too little) and left.
And then we went to Panda Express.
So we went to a fancy vegan restaurant, the kind where they have more than one fork on the table, and allowed our moustached waiter to tempt us with his recitation of the delicious vegan specials. He should have been a poet...the way he spoke was Keats-esque...only he spoke of all-natural organic vegetables and not romance.
We decided to order and split a giant sampler with three different entrees--- lasagna made with zucchini and macadamia ricotta...butternut squash ravioli...red pepper enchiladas. It was going to be rapturous!
We waited...and waited...
And then they brought out the dish!!!
And I think even a rabbit would have been offended at the meager portions. It was so small!!! SO SMALL! The three-entree sampler was the size of a Lunchable. A LUNCHABLE! And even that is a generous description.
So Natalie and I deftly divided a bite of ravioli, a sprig of salad, a nibble of lasagna, and a taquito-sized enchilada.
Then we paid (too much for too little) and left.
And then we went to Panda Express.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Oatmeal Mornings
I don't know what to blog about, but I really feel like blogging!!!
(side note: I've come to accept that I enjoy using an excessive number of exclamation points!)
I'm drinking really strong coffee and listening to the new Shane & Shane CD that Natalie gave me (it is so great!). Also, I am eating oatmeal that I made with half-water-half-egg-nog (also great!)and then I added plain yogurt (is oatmeal not so versatile?).
I tell Steph I want to open up an oatmeal store and just make different kinds of oatmeal combinations. Wouldn't that be great? I so prefer oatmeal to any other breakfast food...although German cream of wheat has been growing on me...My affections are divided.
Anyway:
Really Good Oatmeal Combinations:
1) Oatmeal, cinnamon, coconut milk, banana
2) Oatmeal, cinnamon, almond milk, blueberries, strawberries, blackberries
3) Oatmeal, peanut butter, honey, banana
4) Oatmeal, cinnamon, a pear!
Pretty-Good Oatmeal Combinations:
1)Oatmeal, coconut milk, pineapple, banana, plain yogurt
2) Oatmeal, almond milk, walnuts, cranberries, raisins
3) Oatmeal, banana, chopped walnuts, greek yogurt (cherries are good too!)
If-You're-Feeling-Quirky Oatmeal Combinations:
1) Oatmeal, nutmeg, almond milk, sweet potato (or pumpkin!), yogurt
2) Oatmeal, egg nog, yogurt (and sometimes marshmallows)
3) Oatmeal, baked apple, shredded carrots
Combinations That You Think Will Be Good...But That Then Aren't:
1) Oatmeal, milk, NesQuick powder (this was TERRIBLE)
So there is my blog devoted to oatmeal. Oatmeal is one of my life-joys.
Oatmeal, reading over breakfast, good lighting---three of my life-joys.
(side note: I've come to accept that I enjoy using an excessive number of exclamation points!)
I'm drinking really strong coffee and listening to the new Shane & Shane CD that Natalie gave me (it is so great!). Also, I am eating oatmeal that I made with half-water-half-egg-nog (also great!)and then I added plain yogurt (is oatmeal not so versatile?).
I tell Steph I want to open up an oatmeal store and just make different kinds of oatmeal combinations. Wouldn't that be great? I so prefer oatmeal to any other breakfast food...although German cream of wheat has been growing on me...My affections are divided.
Anyway:
Really Good Oatmeal Combinations:
1) Oatmeal, cinnamon, coconut milk, banana
2) Oatmeal, cinnamon, almond milk, blueberries, strawberries, blackberries
3) Oatmeal, peanut butter, honey, banana
4) Oatmeal, cinnamon, a pear!
Pretty-Good Oatmeal Combinations:
1)Oatmeal, coconut milk, pineapple, banana, plain yogurt
2) Oatmeal, almond milk, walnuts, cranberries, raisins
3) Oatmeal, banana, chopped walnuts, greek yogurt (cherries are good too!)
If-You're-Feeling-Quirky Oatmeal Combinations:
1) Oatmeal, nutmeg, almond milk, sweet potato (or pumpkin!), yogurt
2) Oatmeal, egg nog, yogurt (and sometimes marshmallows)
3) Oatmeal, baked apple, shredded carrots
Combinations That You Think Will Be Good...But That Then Aren't:
1) Oatmeal, milk, NesQuick powder (this was TERRIBLE)
So there is my blog devoted to oatmeal. Oatmeal is one of my life-joys.
Oatmeal, reading over breakfast, good lighting---three of my life-joys.
Friday, November 25, 2011
A Word to the Wise
I had an insightful conversation with my sister the other day.
Paloma: “Boys like to date girls who look like their sisters! It’s so creepy! Next time I date someone I’m going to be like, ‘First, show me a picture of your family.’”
I think she has a point.
Is that not terribly disturbing?
So now I'm thinkng that maybe when he said we were 'compatible' and I understood him to mean "Our personalities interact well," what he really meant was "You look a lot like my sister."
Ick.
Paloma: “Boys like to date girls who look like their sisters! It’s so creepy! Next time I date someone I’m going to be like, ‘First, show me a picture of your family.’”
I think she has a point.
Is that not terribly disturbing?
So now I'm thinkng that maybe when he said we were 'compatible' and I understood him to mean "Our personalities interact well," what he really meant was "You look a lot like my sister."
Ick.
The Lutherans
Dad: So where are you going to church tomorrow?
Criz: Well there's a Baptist church down the road. And a Presbyterian one too.
Dad (laughs like crazy): What is with you and all these old people churches?!
Criz: What?! What is with you and all this dogmatic approval of the Assemblies of God?!
Dad: I don't know. I just think of all these churches as, like Lutherans and Baptists, as, I don't know...
Criz: As retirement homes?
Dad: Yeah.
Criz: Ha. So when you were growing up was the A/G the cool young people's church?
Dad: Well...the A/G was spirit-filled. At least we were trying to live like Christians.
Criz: What!?
Dad: Well...compared to the Lutherans down the road who would go to church and then the next day sneak up behind me on the bus and slap me on the back of the head with their graduation rings.
Criz: I didn't know there was so much history between you and the Lutherans
Dad: Yeah my friend Paul, he got married at a Lutheran church. I don't think he'd ever gone to church. Except for that once when he got married. One time I invited him to go to Camp Joy with me and when he got there he asked, 'Where are all the TVs?' and I said, 'There are no TVs.' And Paul said, 'WHAT? NO TVS?' and so then he went home because they didn't have TV, and I stayed there at camp.
Criz: Well there's a Baptist church down the road. And a Presbyterian one too.
Dad (laughs like crazy): What is with you and all these old people churches?!
Criz: What?! What is with you and all this dogmatic approval of the Assemblies of God?!
Dad: I don't know. I just think of all these churches as, like Lutherans and Baptists, as, I don't know...
Criz: As retirement homes?
Dad: Yeah.
Criz: Ha. So when you were growing up was the A/G the cool young people's church?
Dad: Well...the A/G was spirit-filled. At least we were trying to live like Christians.
Criz: What!?
Dad: Well...compared to the Lutherans down the road who would go to church and then the next day sneak up behind me on the bus and slap me on the back of the head with their graduation rings.
Criz: I didn't know there was so much history between you and the Lutherans
Dad: Yeah my friend Paul, he got married at a Lutheran church. I don't think he'd ever gone to church. Except for that once when he got married. One time I invited him to go to Camp Joy with me and when he got there he asked, 'Where are all the TVs?' and I said, 'There are no TVs.' And Paul said, 'WHAT? NO TVS?' and so then he went home because they didn't have TV, and I stayed there at camp.
Tequila
Dad: "She can just take a shot-full and then go to bed. It's either a $15-$20 bottle of tequila or $100 to go to the doctor..."
(Telephone conversation with Dad regarding Paloma's winter cold---here he tried to convince me to buy her tequila, insisting it would burn out the infection and save her a trip to the doctor.)
(Telephone conversation with Dad regarding Paloma's winter cold---here he tried to convince me to buy her tequila, insisting it would burn out the infection and save her a trip to the doctor.)
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
From the Archives
Apparently I went through a phase where I would write down the most notable events of my day.
Apparently my life is really boring.
Day 1:
-I looked up Antwerp. It is in Belgium.
-I read T.S. Eliot: A poem about a dead aunt, another about laughter tinkling among tea cups, and another about a cousin Nancy who trampled on hills and danced modern dances.
-Talked to NiCole about going garage sailing this weekend. Also thrift stores are to be visited.
-Ate oatmeal with cranberries and raisins.
-Look up: defunctive, inane, the usage of the word digress, miasma, ague, enervate
Day 2:
Today: Mario sang School House Rock’s ‘Conjunction Junction’ while dancing the robot. He then proceeded to flicker the lights in the front office while rattling a folder.
Criz: “What’s that supposed to be? It sounds like an Altoid box being shaken.’
Mario: “It’s thunder.
Criz: “Oh, cool!”
Mario: “It sounds a little more realistic when you use a sheet of cookies.”
Criz: ?
Mario: “A baking sheet.”
Mario: ”So is it cold in Colorado about a fourth of the time?”
Criz: “Mmm..maybe a little more, especially up north.”
Mario: “In Conjunction?”
Criz: “Grand Junction?”
Mario: “Oh, I had conjunction junction on the brain.”
-Looked up ‘bunk’ and it turns out it is short for the Americanism, ‘bunkum’ which came “after the speech in 16th Congress, 1819–21, by F. Walker, who said he was bound to speak for Buncombe (N.C. county in district he represented).”
-Called Biola, left messages
Day 3:
-Crazy 65 year-old man in a windbreaker came into the office to buy a transcript: bushy white hair, bushy white beard, one blue eye, one eye completely white. His name was Eldon.
-Eldon tried to pay for transcript with Turkish currency.
-Eldon also said Social Security is a punishment, or as he referred to it, a rape---a rape because it’s forced on you. Those were his words.
Day 4:
-Listened to Ella Fitzgerald
-Got stressed out from entering too many payments and writing too many receipts
-Ate too many Lindor truffles
-Wondered if today was a day of excess
Apparently my life is really boring.
Day 1:
-I looked up Antwerp. It is in Belgium.
-I read T.S. Eliot: A poem about a dead aunt, another about laughter tinkling among tea cups, and another about a cousin Nancy who trampled on hills and danced modern dances.
-Talked to NiCole about going garage sailing this weekend. Also thrift stores are to be visited.
-Ate oatmeal with cranberries and raisins.
-Look up: defunctive, inane, the usage of the word digress, miasma, ague, enervate
Day 2:
Today: Mario sang School House Rock’s ‘Conjunction Junction’ while dancing the robot. He then proceeded to flicker the lights in the front office while rattling a folder.
Criz: “What’s that supposed to be? It sounds like an Altoid box being shaken.’
Mario: “It’s thunder.
Criz: “Oh, cool!”
Mario: “It sounds a little more realistic when you use a sheet of cookies.”
Criz: ?
Mario: “A baking sheet.”
Mario: ”So is it cold in Colorado about a fourth of the time?”
Criz: “Mmm..maybe a little more, especially up north.”
Mario: “In Conjunction?”
Criz: “Grand Junction?”
Mario: “Oh, I had conjunction junction on the brain.”
-Looked up ‘bunk’ and it turns out it is short for the Americanism, ‘bunkum’ which came “after the speech in 16th Congress, 1819–21, by F. Walker, who said he was bound to speak for Buncombe (N.C. county in district he represented).”
-Called Biola, left messages
Day 3:
-Crazy 65 year-old man in a windbreaker came into the office to buy a transcript: bushy white hair, bushy white beard, one blue eye, one eye completely white. His name was Eldon.
-Eldon tried to pay for transcript with Turkish currency.
-Eldon also said Social Security is a punishment, or as he referred to it, a rape---a rape because it’s forced on you. Those were his words.
Day 4:
-Listened to Ella Fitzgerald
-Got stressed out from entering too many payments and writing too many receipts
-Ate too many Lindor truffles
-Wondered if today was a day of excess
Say It In Russian
I found this book last time I was home and just loved it too much to not take it with me. Sometimes when I'm bored I just read through the entires and laugh like crazy.
Please do note that this book has over 1,400 up-to-date entries---
Because I send cablegrams regularly.
Also note--these entries are not only up-to-date, they are also practical.
And of course, never go to Russia without knowing how to order buckwheat grits.
Please do note that this book has over 1,400 up-to-date entries---
Because I send cablegrams regularly.
Also note--these entries are not only up-to-date, they are also practical.
And of course, never go to Russia without knowing how to order buckwheat grits.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Two Tablespoons
This morning I drank anxiety
Without thinking, automatically
I mixed a tablespoon into my coffee
And added another for good measure
I drank it down
Down, down, I drank it down
And now, intermixed
It flows with my blood to my mind, my heart
I couldn’t figure out why I was nervous
Why my thoughts frenzied
Why my eyes tired
But then I remembered
I stirred two tablespoons of anxiety
Into my coffee today
And that is why
So now I know
And now I know
Will your living water dilute?
Will your rivers overrun and engulf?
The Spirit is life and peace
And I am all anxiety and frenetic movement
But the Spirit is life and peace
Without thinking, automatically
I mixed a tablespoon into my coffee
And added another for good measure
I drank it down
Down, down, I drank it down
And now, intermixed
It flows with my blood to my mind, my heart
I couldn’t figure out why I was nervous
Why my thoughts frenzied
Why my eyes tired
But then I remembered
I stirred two tablespoons of anxiety
Into my coffee today
And that is why
So now I know
And now I know
Will your living water dilute?
Will your rivers overrun and engulf?
The Spirit is life and peace
And I am all anxiety and frenetic movement
But the Spirit is life and peace
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Determined
This morning I woke up determined to go for a run.
I lay in bed for 30 minutes just thinking about how determined I was to go for a run.
Then I got up and meandered over to the kitchen and ate a banana and drank some Gatorade, further proofs of my decision to go for a run.
An hour later, after checking my Facebook and my Yahoo, I was in my Sauconys and tying my key to my short strings. A run was only a minute away...
I opened the door, and behold: it was raining.
So now I'm writing a blog while I wait for the tea kettle.
C'est la vie.
I lay in bed for 30 minutes just thinking about how determined I was to go for a run.
Then I got up and meandered over to the kitchen and ate a banana and drank some Gatorade, further proofs of my decision to go for a run.
An hour later, after checking my Facebook and my Yahoo, I was in my Sauconys and tying my key to my short strings. A run was only a minute away...
I opened the door, and behold: it was raining.
So now I'm writing a blog while I wait for the tea kettle.
C'est la vie.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Click-clack, click-clack
I am in the library listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival and typing up my notes on properties and the problem of universals. It's actually kind of fun. "I heard it through the grapevine..." click-clack-click-clack properties, redness, exemplify, moderate nominalism, "Not much longer would you be mine..." click-clack-click-clack realism, similarity, red1, red2, "I heard it through the grapevine..."
I guess that maybe sounds nerdy. No worries, I'm not nerdy. And I'm not bragging about doing nerdy things. Being nerdy would involve actually understanding the content on my notes, and so right now I'm just a nerd-wannabe.
So even considering all the fun I'm having, I could go for a nap...then again I might just go for a nap seeing as the other day I saw a kid pull out a sleeping bag and take a nap in the middle of the library floor.
Weird right?
Today I made apple crisp with the apples from my very own backyard.
I guess that maybe sounds nerdy. No worries, I'm not nerdy. And I'm not bragging about doing nerdy things. Being nerdy would involve actually understanding the content on my notes, and so right now I'm just a nerd-wannabe.
So even considering all the fun I'm having, I could go for a nap...then again I might just go for a nap seeing as the other day I saw a kid pull out a sleeping bag and take a nap in the middle of the library floor.
Weird right?
Today I made apple crisp with the apples from my very own backyard.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Summer Ennui
I haven’t done anything today. I have been occupying this specific section of the couch for the past two hours and am pretty sure when I stand up (if I can stand up) my imprint will remain to commemorate my time with this particular sofa cushion.
The summer months…I had forgotten about the lethargy and ennui that often (more often than not, in my case) accompany breaks. One always imagines with near-rapture the end of work and school...that is, until the actual end of work and school. Certainly, it's glorious at first, the sleeping in, the perpetual pajama wearing...and then you get to day #4 of doing nothing and just like that, the honeymoon is over. You start counting ceiling tiles, minding other people's business for them, noticing crooked wall-hangings, alphabetizing the spices in the cabinet, and then you realize: I NEED SOME KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY!!! Grass is greener and all that I suppose.
This blog is some kind of tribute to my lack of purpose.
I could be doing things, but I’m not. There’s a giant philosophy book with my name on it that I’ve chosen to ignore in lieu of re-reading (for the 5th time) a Christian romance book. But it's not one of those about the hidden love-lives of the Amish, or one of those about pioneer women and mail-order brides. No, this one is much more respectable and I'm only mildly embarrassed to admit to reading it---this one is one of those labled 'witty' or 'clever' and it should be mentioned that after consulting the hierarchy of Christian novels, this one is superior to the other two types mentioned.
Anyway, I should have gone for a run. I didn’t. I went for a 2 miler yesterday though, so I’m running on borrowed aerobic exercise. Blah. Tomorrow is another day, I will run tomorrow.
I think I’m quickly becoming the dog’s new favorite person. Or else he’s realized just how easily he can manipulate me. I’ve been giving him treats and petting him to win back his affections, and just as I begin to believe my plan has worked (he now follows me with stalker-like devotion) I realize that maybe he’s pulled the wool over my eyes. Case in point: 1) dog whines. I, like the subservient maiden that I am, let him in and out of the house at his whim. 2) Dog sees me eating hard-boiled egg. Next thing I know I am sans half of my hard boiled egg. Dog seems satisfied. Who’s the boss around here?!
The power went out today. For approximately 3 hours. My tofu was on the verge of decomposing, but just as I was tearfully saying goodbye to the lovely little soy chunks, the power came back on. How did people live before refrigeration?
Also, I got new running shorts today. Not that I’ll use them for their intended purposes, but I have them, and they're this really stellar shade of powder blue. You know, like from the 80s. Matched with my fuchsia camisole and the lime green t-shirt I just cut the neck off of, I look either like Cyndi Lauper (evil #1) or a human Skittle (evil #2). Which is the lesser of the two? Tell me please.
Anyway, enough of this. I have 70 pages witty, clever, modern-ness to finish reading and here I am, typing away and developing carpel tunnel along with stasis ulcers.
Oh, but as a final note:
Criz: I think our cat looks like she should be named Matilda. Doesn’t she look like a Matilda to you?
Dad: I don’t know. I don’t like that name. It reminds me of my Aunt Matilda, she was pretty crazy.
Criz: Oh I love crazy people stories! What did she do?
Dad: Well, for one, she had a lobotomy.
Criz: Oh.
Yup. Just when you think you can make fun of someone for being crazy you find out that they’re actually crazy and there goes that.
The summer months…I had forgotten about the lethargy and ennui that often (more often than not, in my case) accompany breaks. One always imagines with near-rapture the end of work and school...that is, until the actual end of work and school. Certainly, it's glorious at first, the sleeping in, the perpetual pajama wearing...and then you get to day #4 of doing nothing and just like that, the honeymoon is over. You start counting ceiling tiles, minding other people's business for them, noticing crooked wall-hangings, alphabetizing the spices in the cabinet, and then you realize: I NEED SOME KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY!!! Grass is greener and all that I suppose.
This blog is some kind of tribute to my lack of purpose.
I could be doing things, but I’m not. There’s a giant philosophy book with my name on it that I’ve chosen to ignore in lieu of re-reading (for the 5th time) a Christian romance book. But it's not one of those about the hidden love-lives of the Amish, or one of those about pioneer women and mail-order brides. No, this one is much more respectable and I'm only mildly embarrassed to admit to reading it---this one is one of those labled 'witty' or 'clever' and it should be mentioned that after consulting the hierarchy of Christian novels, this one is superior to the other two types mentioned.
Anyway, I should have gone for a run. I didn’t. I went for a 2 miler yesterday though, so I’m running on borrowed aerobic exercise. Blah. Tomorrow is another day, I will run tomorrow.
I think I’m quickly becoming the dog’s new favorite person. Or else he’s realized just how easily he can manipulate me. I’ve been giving him treats and petting him to win back his affections, and just as I begin to believe my plan has worked (he now follows me with stalker-like devotion) I realize that maybe he’s pulled the wool over my eyes. Case in point: 1) dog whines. I, like the subservient maiden that I am, let him in and out of the house at his whim. 2) Dog sees me eating hard-boiled egg. Next thing I know I am sans half of my hard boiled egg. Dog seems satisfied. Who’s the boss around here?!
The power went out today. For approximately 3 hours. My tofu was on the verge of decomposing, but just as I was tearfully saying goodbye to the lovely little soy chunks, the power came back on. How did people live before refrigeration?
Also, I got new running shorts today. Not that I’ll use them for their intended purposes, but I have them, and they're this really stellar shade of powder blue. You know, like from the 80s. Matched with my fuchsia camisole and the lime green t-shirt I just cut the neck off of, I look either like Cyndi Lauper (evil #1) or a human Skittle (evil #2). Which is the lesser of the two? Tell me please.
Anyway, enough of this. I have 70 pages witty, clever, modern-ness to finish reading and here I am, typing away and developing carpel tunnel along with stasis ulcers.
Oh, but as a final note:
Criz: I think our cat looks like she should be named Matilda. Doesn’t she look like a Matilda to you?
Dad: I don’t know. I don’t like that name. It reminds me of my Aunt Matilda, she was pretty crazy.
Criz: Oh I love crazy people stories! What did she do?
Dad: Well, for one, she had a lobotomy.
Criz: Oh.
Yup. Just when you think you can make fun of someone for being crazy you find out that they’re actually crazy and there goes that.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Day Three
I am in Colorado.
Day three of this no work, no school business.
I am keeping mom company in the kitchen as she cooks lunch, reading to her from Vaclav Havel's Letters to Olga in between snatching tid-bits of tasty things out of the frying pan.
I have been chastised numerous times for 'picking' at the lunch, but I think it's a half-flattered type of chastising.
Anywho, we're waiting to Paloma to come home from work at the coal plant before eating. Isn't that funny? I never thought I'd wait for anyone to come home from a coal plant before sitting down to lunch, but there it is.
Dad is out changing the oil in my car and writing down milages and oil types and other queer automotive notations I don't exactly care enough about to try to understand.
Today I found a gray hair on my head. Not even gray, a WHITE hair. My very first white hair. If this is an omen of things to come, I am not excited. I'm 23 and 11 months old. How fair is it to have a white hair at 23 years and 11 months? You'd think biology could hold off for another few years, at least til I'm thirty. I guess I could be thankful; Proverbs 16 says that "The hoary head is a crown of glory; It shall be found in the way of righteousness."
I'm thankful for my righteous, hoary head.
Ha.
Well, Paloma has come from the coal plant, mom has finished lunch, and dad is done with the oil change. I suppose I'm off to eat. But I don't quite feel hungry anymore. I wonder if that's due to the 'picking.'
Day three of this no work, no school business.
I am keeping mom company in the kitchen as she cooks lunch, reading to her from Vaclav Havel's Letters to Olga in between snatching tid-bits of tasty things out of the frying pan.
I have been chastised numerous times for 'picking' at the lunch, but I think it's a half-flattered type of chastising.
Anywho, we're waiting to Paloma to come home from work at the coal plant before eating. Isn't that funny? I never thought I'd wait for anyone to come home from a coal plant before sitting down to lunch, but there it is.
Dad is out changing the oil in my car and writing down milages and oil types and other queer automotive notations I don't exactly care enough about to try to understand.
Today I found a gray hair on my head. Not even gray, a WHITE hair. My very first white hair. If this is an omen of things to come, I am not excited. I'm 23 and 11 months old. How fair is it to have a white hair at 23 years and 11 months? You'd think biology could hold off for another few years, at least til I'm thirty. I guess I could be thankful; Proverbs 16 says that "The hoary head is a crown of glory; It shall be found in the way of righteousness."
I'm thankful for my righteous, hoary head.
Ha.
Well, Paloma has come from the coal plant, mom has finished lunch, and dad is done with the oil change. I suppose I'm off to eat. But I don't quite feel hungry anymore. I wonder if that's due to the 'picking.'
Friday, July 1, 2011
The Box of Suspicious Cookies
Today I found a box of cookies by the sink in the office hallway.
They looked very suspicious. They just appeared there overnight.
No one knew anything about them, but I really wanted one.
Then Joan told me that a vendor gave them to her and she left them by the sink hoping they would go stale so we could throw them away.
I did not want them to be thrown away.
So I ate three.
The End
They looked very suspicious. They just appeared there overnight.
No one knew anything about them, but I really wanted one.
Then Joan told me that a vendor gave them to her and she left them by the sink hoping they would go stale so we could throw them away.
I did not want them to be thrown away.
So I ate three.
The End
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Good Friday
Yesterday was Good Friday. My first day free from the semester classes, made even more glorious by the fact that it was also a work holiday. Good Friday.
I woke up wanting to build an altar in the backyard. If I could have found a large stone of some sort, I might have built an Ebenezer and celebrated.
Steph sent me a text to ask what I was doing for the day; I responded with, “I don’t know. I am still deciding, and I may spend all day deciding and just end up doing that.” How nice it is to have the freedom to spend a whole day deciding.
Today I am washing my new white shirt, which like the rest of my white shirts, has been unfortunately stained. This shirt has a nice pattern of honey-mustard stains along the front and freckled across the back. Very unfortunate.
Paloma is sitting on the couch doing homework. It’s nice to have a sister near. She is going to read to me a part of The Yellow Wallpaper. She loves the part about the creeping and the key being hidden under the plantain leaf.
Derek’s Please, Before I Go has been running through my head. I have been mumbling “Kiss me, please before I go…” all through the house as I check on the laundry and hang up clothes.
Now that school is over and I only have work to worry about I am nervous. Relieved to have the burden of schoolwork out of my mind; after all, it was a very strenuous semester. But mixed in with that relief is a bigger weight---one which I disguised and shoved into the back of the closet for these past few months, more concerned with class papers and take-home tests. Now that those are over I have to go clean out the closet.
I woke up wanting to build an altar in the backyard. If I could have found a large stone of some sort, I might have built an Ebenezer and celebrated.
Steph sent me a text to ask what I was doing for the day; I responded with, “I don’t know. I am still deciding, and I may spend all day deciding and just end up doing that.” How nice it is to have the freedom to spend a whole day deciding.
Today I am washing my new white shirt, which like the rest of my white shirts, has been unfortunately stained. This shirt has a nice pattern of honey-mustard stains along the front and freckled across the back. Very unfortunate.
Paloma is sitting on the couch doing homework. It’s nice to have a sister near. She is going to read to me a part of The Yellow Wallpaper. She loves the part about the creeping and the key being hidden under the plantain leaf.
Derek’s Please, Before I Go has been running through my head. I have been mumbling “Kiss me, please before I go…” all through the house as I check on the laundry and hang up clothes.
Now that school is over and I only have work to worry about I am nervous. Relieved to have the burden of schoolwork out of my mind; after all, it was a very strenuous semester. But mixed in with that relief is a bigger weight---one which I disguised and shoved into the back of the closet for these past few months, more concerned with class papers and take-home tests. Now that those are over I have to go clean out the closet.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Strawberry Sweater Vest
I was on the lookout for a sweater vest with a pattern of strawberries on it.
Thinking I could find one to purchase online I googled 'strawberry sweater vest' and clicked on images.
Instead of finding strawberry sweater vests for people I found about 80 pictures of pugs wearing sweater vests.
Normal-Charisma
I have a feeling that normal-Charisma may soon be returning from her semester-long sabbatical.
The weathervane has shifted, indicating the winds are changing. A favorable breeze from the northwest is carrying with it inklings of relief.
The welcoming committee is currently planning for normal-Charisma's reception.
ETA: Thursday, April 21, 8:30 p.m.
The weathervane has shifted, indicating the winds are changing. A favorable breeze from the northwest is carrying with it inklings of relief.
The welcoming committee is currently planning for normal-Charisma's reception.
ETA: Thursday, April 21, 8:30 p.m.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Good Intentions
First:
I love the free shirts you get for donating blood. Love them. Absolutely love how they're all 5x too big and can easily double for camping tents, bed sheets, or area rugs. I love how they have wacky logos and lame catchphrases. I love using them to dye my hair or as pajamas. I like having a little collection of them, lining my t-shirt drawer. I just like them. I don't give blood to get them (as if being stabbed with a blood-sucking needle is compensated for by a t-shirt? really?), but I think they're a nice memoir of donating blood...and they effectively double as beach towels when you're out clean ones.
Now enter Boy Exhibit A:
Criz: Did you give blood today?
Boy Exhibit A: I just finished.
Criz: Nice! How long did it take you?
Boy Exhibit A: 5 minutes.
Criz: Wow that's fast! It took me thirteen minutes! Did you get a t-shirt?
Boy Exhibit A (smugly): Nah. I don't do it for the t-shirt.
Really? REALLY?
Because while I think he's trying to communicate that he gives blood for the sake of saving lives, he also seems to be communicating that some people, the ones who "do it for the t-shirts (i.e. me)," are somehow lacking in purity of heart.
Am I over-reacting?
Am I only giving blood for the t-shirt? Will my reward in heaven be nullified due to insincere motivations? Is the 100% cotton, XXXXXL, t-shirt my only reward on earth?
So then I got to thinking: Do our (or my) good-intentions, as well-intentioned as they may be, communicate to others that they are less-than? Probably?
Anyway, moral of the story: I'm going to try to cut out bragging about ridiculous things that aren't even making me more 'holy'.
And I'm also going to keep building my blood donation t-shirt collection. Because I really like those shirts and have plans to make my own parachute.
I love the free shirts you get for donating blood. Love them. Absolutely love how they're all 5x too big and can easily double for camping tents, bed sheets, or area rugs. I love how they have wacky logos and lame catchphrases. I love using them to dye my hair or as pajamas. I like having a little collection of them, lining my t-shirt drawer. I just like them. I don't give blood to get them (as if being stabbed with a blood-sucking needle is compensated for by a t-shirt? really?), but I think they're a nice memoir of donating blood...and they effectively double as beach towels when you're out clean ones.
Now enter Boy Exhibit A:
Criz: Did you give blood today?
Boy Exhibit A: I just finished.
Criz: Nice! How long did it take you?
Boy Exhibit A: 5 minutes.
Criz: Wow that's fast! It took me thirteen minutes! Did you get a t-shirt?
Boy Exhibit A (smugly): Nah. I don't do it for the t-shirt.
Really? REALLY?
Because while I think he's trying to communicate that he gives blood for the sake of saving lives, he also seems to be communicating that some people, the ones who "do it for the t-shirts (i.e. me)," are somehow lacking in purity of heart.
Am I over-reacting?
Am I only giving blood for the t-shirt? Will my reward in heaven be nullified due to insincere motivations? Is the 100% cotton, XXXXXL, t-shirt my only reward on earth?
So then I got to thinking: Do our (or my) good-intentions, as well-intentioned as they may be, communicate to others that they are less-than? Probably?
Anyway, moral of the story: I'm going to try to cut out bragging about ridiculous things that aren't even making me more 'holy'.
And I'm also going to keep building my blood donation t-shirt collection. Because I really like those shirts and have plans to make my own parachute.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
A Circle of Quiet, p. 189
"In Two Cheers for Democracy E.M. Forster says, 'I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betryain my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.'
This is a statement no good Communist should accept; a Communist will-or should-betray any friend, parent, child, for the party. When we choose a generality, an idea, a cause, instead of a person, when this becomes accepted, the required thing to do, then it doesn't matter if villages are destroyed by bombs; traffic deaths become statistics; starving babies can be forgotten when the television is turned off; and thre will no longer be anybody who will read or write a poem or story, who will look at or compose a symphony. No young man will walk whistling up the street. No young gril will sing about the love in her heart."
-Madeleine L'Engle
When we make Christianity our cause, when we forget the man, Christ, and think of 'the church,' then crusades and inquisitions and slaughters become the means justified by the ends---ends that are never reached---for such means could never attain the ends they claims to pursue.
Paraphrasing D. Willard in Knowing Christ Today, Christ did not come to form a religion, but he came that we might know him, be transformed by love, and share love and life with others---Not champion a denomination or vague ideology---but that we might love one another and show we are his disciples.
"In Two Cheers for Democracy E.M. Forster says, 'I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betryain my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.'
This is a statement no good Communist should accept; a Communist will-or should-betray any friend, parent, child, for the party. When we choose a generality, an idea, a cause, instead of a person, when this becomes accepted, the required thing to do, then it doesn't matter if villages are destroyed by bombs; traffic deaths become statistics; starving babies can be forgotten when the television is turned off; and thre will no longer be anybody who will read or write a poem or story, who will look at or compose a symphony. No young man will walk whistling up the street. No young gril will sing about the love in her heart."
-Madeleine L'Engle
When we make Christianity our cause, when we forget the man, Christ, and think of 'the church,' then crusades and inquisitions and slaughters become the means justified by the ends---ends that are never reached---for such means could never attain the ends they claims to pursue.
Paraphrasing D. Willard in Knowing Christ Today, Christ did not come to form a religion, but he came that we might know him, be transformed by love, and share love and life with others---Not champion a denomination or vague ideology---but that we might love one another and show we are his disciples.
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