The Lutherans

Dad: So where are you going to church tomorrow?

Criz: Well there's a Baptist church down the road. And a Presbyterian one too.

Dad (laughs like crazy): What is with you and all these old people churches?!

Criz: What?! What is with you and all this dogmatic approval of the Assemblies of God?!

Dad: I don't know. I just think of all these churches as, like Lutherans and Baptists, as, I don't know...

Criz: As retirement homes?

Dad: Yeah.

Criz: Ha. So when you were growing up was the A/G the cool young people's church?

Dad: Well...the A/G was spirit-filled. At least we were trying to live like Christians.

Criz: What!?

Dad: Well...compared to the Lutherans down the road who would go to church and then the next day sneak up behind me on the bus and slap me on the back of the head with their graduation rings.

Criz: I didn't know there was so much history between you and the Lutherans

Dad: Yeah my friend Paul, he got married at a Lutheran church. I don't think he'd ever gone to church. Except for that once when he got married. One time I invited him to go to Camp Joy with me and when he got there he asked, 'Where are all the TVs?' and I said, 'There are no TVs.' And Paul said, 'WHAT? NO TVS?' and so then he went home because they didn't have TV, and I stayed there at camp.