Testament (coffee table literature)

I found this poem in a book of Kate's on the coffee table.

I liked it so much. Not because it made me feel happy, I mean it DID make happy in a way (mostly it made me feel a little embarrassed), but I've decided I like it because it is TRUE. And the truth I s'pose is good medicine.

I don't want to get cocky thinking I can love God on my own (but sometimes I do). I sometimes think that I'm the one doing all the work towards love (but where do I get the strength and the 'want' to work towards love apart from him?). Really I'm a shabby lover and I think HE knows that (even if I only admit it when it's blatantly obvious...), so he helps me along to love better and to will his will.


Well enough of me putting carts before horses and giving explanations before poems. Here is the poem.

TESTAMENT-

O God
I will do thy will.
I will
to do thy will.

How can my will
will to do thy will?
If I will
to know thy will
then I fall on my own will.
How can I will
to love or to obey?
My very willing bars the way.
Willingness becomes self-will.

O God
if thou will
turn my will to thy will
if thou will
tell me thy will
it will
be in spite of
not because of
my will.

Help me to lose my will.
Each day
let my will die
so will I
be born.
New born will I live
willingly lovingly
and will
will be no more

will be thine
O God
if thou will.

-Madeleine L'Engle